Tag: taking the piss

Wavemotiongun.com’s DOs and DON’Ts of Anime Blogging!


DO use a layout that consumes half the screen of the average user. Everyone loves logos, links to other articles that belong in a sidebar, and imagery that’s been cropped and photomanipulated to the point of uselessness. They’re so much more helpful than having less content hidden below the scroll bar.

DO use a site background covered in pictures that makes the posts harder to read. It will weed out the weak from your readership, who might not be able to take your remorseless point of view.

DO force people to link through from your RSS feed, rather than read the article from the comfort of their RSS reader. You put all that effort into making your site as user unfriendly as you could, so why should the cool kids with their RSS readers get off scot free? Make them gaze upon the wonder of your photo manipulation skills and pictures of tiny robots that obscure the text.

Also, it will enable you to keep better track of them. The scum!

DO write in a style more suited to print than the internet. Specifically the print of an early 90s issue of the NME or a copy of VMax. Either is good.

DON’T use a style suitable for the internet. Inverted pyramid? What’s that? Short punchy paragraphs? Forget it! NEVER COMPROMISE!

DO complain as much as you can about everything you can’t stand about other anime fans, other anime blogs, the anime industry and cartoons you don’t watch. Only your uncompromising opinions of other people’s opinions can change the world.

DON’T spend as much effort talking about the cartoons you do like and do watch. I mean sharing your taste with others is what other anime bloggers do. If you are going lower yourself to their level, make sure it’s an OAV, never lower yourself to talking about TeeVee (© Ted Goranson).

Unless it’s complain about it, in which case go right ahead.

DO remember to complain about Evangelion and Gainax AT ALL TIMES. Bees do not leave bonnets without being harangued first!

DO remember that anime is only good at doing science fiction.

DO make sure the window to your glass house is OPEN.

DO remember your rose-tinted glasses.

And finally…

DO remember that you are the internet’s dad. And that you are very disappointed.

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Inspired by this article on Colony Drop. As mean as I’m being here (their recent posts are much more internet reader friendly than some of their earlier, more colossal paragraphy posts), there are some genuine useful hints and tips contained in their post.

There’s what I’d consider some old media wrongheadedness too, but that’s the work-Brack talking. And he’s been fully indoctrinated in our glorious Web 2.0 publishing future, so pinch of salt and all that.

Personally, I would push people towards Jakob Nielsen’s Website if they wanted a better understanding of the basics on how to write on the internet. Then once they’ve got that right you can sweat the other details.

And finally, to whoever has actually registered wavemotiongun.com, I’m using the name here for satire purposes, not to stake a claim on your URL.